Almost always, what I share here is a photo. Sometimes a word or two; always my own. But today I celebrate one year of marriage to the dearest man in the world. It’s been a year full of so much magic and adventure: new careers, international travel, promotions, celebrating the love of friends + family all around us. We are so blessed, and so happy. In honor of that magic day, I wanted to share the toast made by my best friend Lauren Ashley Hoffman. So these will not be my words, nor my photos, but they are my joy.
“Sarah and I became best friends when we were both in the throes of what could be politely described as ‘a dark time.’ We spent a lot of time listening to “Since U Been Gone” on repeat. We spent even more time listening to My Chemical Romance. We were hurt and we were jaded, sad enough to spend hours on end chewing pink Orbitz gum and lighting Guadalupe candles. But what amazes me about Sarah is this: she believed on an unshakeable level that things would work out okay, where I was convinced, as is my habit, that everything would be horrible for approximately forever. Sarah, I see you today with Damien and it would appear that you were right. You know. Again.
There’s a song – in my estimation, the best love song of our time, though that’s probably a speech for a different occasion – by the Magnetic Fields called “The Book of Love.” Its lyrics are discouraging at first: “The book of love is long and boring/No one can lift the damn thing/It’s full of charts and facts and figures/And instructions for dancing…” And then comes the all-important “But”: “But I love it when you read to me.”
Here’s the thing: love is hard. Life is hard, come to it. I’m always a little bemused at wedding toasts, because they’re largely based on the thesis that “so and so is just the most perfect couple!!” It makes me laugh because it seems like “the perfect couple” is an animal that doesn’t exist. Marriage doesn’t erase quirks or foibles or baggage; the vows they just took don’t make Sarah less neurotic, nor do they make Damien any less of a hypochondriac. Neither of them can promise the other a life of perfect happiness, perfect communication, perfect anything.
But (the all-important but again!) what makes marriage an act of complete and utter courage is that they’ve promised each other this much: they will do their very best. For all their perfections and imperfections, on the days when all’s right with the world, and on the days when everything goes wrong: they will sit, heads bent, poring over The Book of Love, parsing its sentences, trying to make sense of it, to work it all out. Together.
Here’s to Damien and Sarah Jurado. May each of you love it when the other reads to you.”
Tonight we’ll pour over the amazing images Jenny J created that day, re-read our vows, and raise a toast to year two. Sending much love to all the people who have supported us + loved us, made our wedding and our marriage possible, and ESPECIALLY to the best stepson in the world Mr. Miles Dylan. Happy Anniversary, babe.
[PS – everyone disregard that reference to where we listened to My Chemical Romance. Like Lo said, it was a dark dark time.]